KateOhKatie blogs

I have so much to do.

I have packing to do.

I have unpacking to do.

I have laundry to do.

I have knitting to do.

I have blogging to do.

I have blog reading to do.

I have dishes to do.

I have cooking to do.

I have baking to do.

I have apartment-hunting to do.

I have cleaning-the-crap-out-of-the-back-of-our-car to do.

I have babysitting to do.

I have sleeping to do.

I have so much to do.

All of this, because on Saturday we’re going down to St. Louis to apartment hunt. That’s right, we’ve decided:

(I made that myself. You can tell, can’t you?)

I surprised him with it and everything. He was very happy. And so am I, because…WASH U BABY!!!

Bright and early on Saturday morning, we drive down to view the 40 bajillion apartments we found on Craig’s List. I’m starting to get excited, y’all

Tomorrow: The Chicago Trip. (or: what I will name my rock band, should I ever form one. Othello is already signed up to play bass, but Macbeth’s being a real bitch about his contract, and I mean he’s good and all, but he’s not THAT good. I can think of 10 other cats who play keyboard just as good as him. Oh, and I’m in talks with Ray Manzerek, but he’s got an ego too…something about being second choice after a cat…).

Better Than Red Lobster

I can’t believe I haven’t posted this recipe before.  I mean I really, truly, cannot believe that it didn’t cross my tiny little mind to share this with y’all.  Because WOW.  And not just “Wow that’s good!” wow.  But “Wow omg I might have a foodgasm RIGHT HERE!!!11eleventy!” wow.

That’s what these Red Lobster-esque biscuits are:  a foodgasm in biscuit form.

Think I’m kidding?  You’ve just got to try them for yourselves.  Then thank me–and you will want to.  So will your husband, your friends, your UPS man, and your dog.  (don’t you usually share food with your UPS man and dog?)

But first, some backstory:
waaaay back in the day, back when I was still (mostly) concerned about these things, I decided that I needed to impress Jeff.  Oh, how young I was.  Anyway, I had noticed his affection for those biscuits you get at any Red Lobster restaurant.  I think they call them “Cheddar Bay biscuits” or something.   So I took it upon myself to try and duplicate the recipe, so I could prepare Red Lobster biscuits for my dear then-boyfriend  at a moment’s notice.  So of course I hopped on the Internet and started looking for recipes.  But, alas, the only ones I could find called for *Bisquick*!  Blugh!  I wasn’t about to feed *my* dear boyfriend anything made from *Bisquick*!  (always hated the stuff, y’know).  I ended up taking a few bits and pieces from different recipes as guidelines, and set out on my own.  After many batches’ worth of experimenting, tweaking and perfecting I have developed what is considered by Jeff (and by my family, friends, UPS man and dog, tyvm) to be a biscuit that is not only equal to those served at Red Lobster, but is actually superior.

 I’ll give you a moment to collect yourselves.  We’ll move on when you’re ready.

Now, these biscuits have pretty much become a staple in our household.  They’re easy and quick to prepare, and Jeff, of course, loves ‘em.  A batch of twelve won’t last 24 hours around here.  And the smell when they’re baking?  Heavenly.  If there were one smell I could bottle up and send over the Internet tubes for you, this would be the one.  Seriously.  However, when I got the bright idea to make this tutorial as I was whipping them up last night, I neglected to be aware of the fact that it was, indeed, quite dark out.  As a result, all these photos are, erm, flashy.  For that I apologize, and I beg you to forgive me and still try this recipe anyway!

So are you ready to make some Better Than Red Lobster biscuits?

Turn your oven on to 450*:

(bonus points if it’s dirty)

And assemble the following:

(Shortening, baking powder, salt, flour, milk, and cheddar cheese)
(No you won’t need that much cheese.  But we buy the stuff in bulk around here)

Slice 8 oz from the block using what is probably the wrong knife but I don’t care (or be a rebel and buy an 8 oz block to start out with):

Just whatever you do, do NOT buy the pre-shredded stuff.  Seriously.  It’s an unnecessary convenience, pre-shredded cheese isn’t as delicious–it tastes old and stale–and it’s a waste of packaging.  I am against pre-shredded cheese whenever possible.  Really.

Speaking of “waste of packaging”, be sure to toss the plastic in the recycling bin like the good little Greenie you are!

See?  I’m a good little Greenie!  Nyah-nyah!

Now, take your delicious 8 oz block of cheese and begin grating it on the not-tiny-not-huge side of your grater.

Till it all looks like this:

Mmm.  That is a delicious pile of cheddar-y goodness.  Now you see why I hate the pre-shredded stuff?

Plus, when you’ve grated a block of cheese, you always have a nubbin left over:

Now, if you have a Maxie (or other canine) handy, they’re always happy to take this bit of cheese off your hands.  As I’m currently lacking in any available dogs, however, I had no choice but to make a monster face and do the job myself:

Now you also know that my hair is unwashed, I have a sinkfull of dirty dishes, and I’m nutso enough to actually post this photo on the internets.  Someone cart me away now.  Srsly.

If you’ve recovered enough from that above photo to move on in the recipe, it’s time to set aside all that delicious cheddar–for now–and move on to the biscuity part of the, erm, biscuits.

Take a good-sized mixing bowl, and dump in 2c flour:

One…plop!  I love the sound of flour landing in an empty mixing bowl, its fate as yet undertermined–will it be cookies?  Bread?  Maybe a cake?

Aaaaand,….two:

Then measure about 1/2 t salt into your hand (or into a measuring spoon, if you’re not as cool as me):

And dump it in, too.

Then I guess you’re gonna have to bust out the measuring spoons anyway, because it’s time for 4t of baking powder:

Grab a fork or other stirring implement:

And stir!

Once your dry ingredients are thoroughly stirred together, you’ll need one of these bad boys:

(observe the pastry cutter in its natural habitat)

Which is used for cutting fats (shortening, butter, what-have-you) into dry ingredients….just like we’re about to do!

<3 this tool.  Pure <3.

Measure out 2/3c shortening (much as I dislike shortening, I just can’t figure out a substitute that’s better for these biscuits.  So I suck it up (my pride, not the shortening), use it, and move on with my life.  So can you.):

Dump your shortening in with the dry ingredients, and begin cutting it in:

At first, the shortening will stick to the cutter in clumps:

But just keep working at it:

And pretty soon all the shortening will be mixed in.  The resulting product will look like a whole bunch of little itsy bitsy flour-covered “clumps” or shortening.  You don’t want any of your clumps to be larger than pea-sized–the shortening really needs to be mixed in there well.

It’ll sort of look like streusel topping, I guess (another thing I use my pastry cutter for!)

Now it’s time to measure out 1/2c milk:

And pour it in:

(action shot at its finest)

Then you’ll want to *gently* stir the milk in, preferably using a stained (but yes, it’s clean) spatula:

Ok just kidding about the stained part.  But not about the clean part.  But you knew that.  Because you’re smart.  OK I’m shutting up now.  Really.  Now.

When you’re done (When I’m done?), you’ll still want your dough to be very lumpy (but not this lumpy):

I actually had to add another splash of milk to get it to the right consistency:

But the most important thing is NOT to overmix the dough!  That’s the best way I know of to get tough, chewy biscuits.  Blech.

When your dough is right, it’s time to dump in that cheddar you shredded earlier:

Then carefully mix it in (again, no more than necessary!):

Until the cheddar is all nicely interspersed with the dough:

Now you can set that aside for a moment, while I introduce you to my good friend, Mr. Butter:

(I’m thinking about running away with him—shhh!  Don’t tell Jeff!)

and Mr. Butter’s good friends, Mr. Parsley and Mr. Garlic:

I might let them come along with me and Mr. Butter when we run away together.  It’ll be fun.

Pull out about 4 cloves of garlic–give or take.  If you’re not really a ‘garlic person’, then 2 or 3 is enough.  If you’re me, you may want to go with 5.  But for gawd’s sake, do not be one of those pansy asses who just puts in one.  Seriously.  Don’t.  2 is your official minimum.  For realz.

I then take my garlic and thoroughly abuse it with the nearest metal can:

This will separate the papery skin from the garlic’s meaty inside.

If you’re fancy, you can probably use a flat edge of a knife blade to accomplish this.  Or back it over with your Mercedes, or have the butler do it.  Whatever.  But smashing it with a baking powder can is good enough for me.

Having abused my garlic, the skin practically falls off (ewww!), leaving soft, nubile, aromatic garlicky love in its wake:

Seriously, guys, that’s the easiest way to peel garlic EVER.

Now it’s time to put Mr. Butter and a good dash of Mr. Parsley (maybe 2t of the dried stuff, more of the fresh stuff if you’ve got it) into a microwave-safe bowl, and crush Mr. Garlic on top:

(bonus points if you have an all-metal, industrial strength garlic press like mine.  I splurged hardcore on that baby, knowing I’d use it in practically every meal I prepare).

Then pop the Mr.’s into your microwave for about a minute, or until the butter is all melted:

While that’s going, divide your dough up and roll it into 12 approximately equal-sized balls:

Don’t worry about attaining perfection here.  “Rustic” is the descriptor we’re going for.  Oh, and “delicious.”  That’s an important one, too.

Yum:

Instantly, your home will be filled with the most delicious smell ever.  EVER.  Better than a cinnamon candle or 3 dozen fresh roses.  (Why don’t they make “garlic and parsley and butter” scented Glade plug-ins?  Anyone?  Anyone?)

At this point, you may decide to abandon the Better Than Red Lobster Biscuits project, and elect instead to drink the melted butter straight, then spend the rest of the evening in bed with a tummyache.  It’s up to you.  For this batch, though, I chose instead to pour it into a 9×13 pan:

And spread the buttery, garlicky, parsleyey goodness around so the bottom of the pan is coated:

Drop each biscuit-to-be into this mess, and roll it around–just like how you wish YOU could roll around in it.  Live vicariously through the biscuits-to-be:

All 12, in their happy little homes.  There should be some of the butter mixture left over in the bottom of the pan, even after all your biscuits are thoroughly coated.  This is what you want.  This is good.  This is VITAL.

Let’s have a pre-baking closeup, shall we?

Look at those dainty flecks of parsley, the decadent shine of all that butter, the bits of garlic here-and-there. It’s love.

The next step, logically enough, is to pop ‘em in your preheated oven, for about 10 or 12 minutes:

Until the buttery business in the bottom of the pan is brown, the cheese is ooshy and melted, and the doughy part is a lovely light golden color:

And all you want to do is stick your face in and eat all of them.  Especially this little beauty:

On the plate, these fairly fall apart, held together only by the massive amounts of melted cheese and that oh-so-tender, flaky biscuity goodness:

It just does not get better than these things, my friends.  Try them tonight, and thank me tomorrow.  Perhaps with some 3-cheese stuffed shells?

(recipe to come, on that one!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Printable version:

Better Than Red Lobster Biscuits

Preheat oven to 450*F.  In large bowl, stir dry ingredients together; cut in shortening.  Stir in milk, adding more as needed, being careful not to overmix.  Stir in cheese.  Divide dough into 12 equal-sized balls.  In separate, microwave-safe bowl, combine butter, parsley and garlic.  Microwave until butter is melted.  Pour butter mixture into a 9×13 pan; spread evenly across bottom.  Roll each ball of dough in butter mixture, leave rest spaced equally in pan. Bake 10-12 minutes or until biscuits are light golden color.  Consume with abandon.

I made these last night, for lack of anything more worthwhile to do (except, y’know, working on Christmas cards, or packing for the trip to St. Louis and KC, or adoring the cat, or brushing my hair 100 times so it shines like the stars)

They’re just my basic sugar cookie recipe; each cookie cut from the rim of a Crown Royal glass.

Each one is decorated differently.

Even these three loners:

(yes that’s a star of David.  Mostly because I’ve had “the Dreidel song” stuck in my head since I sang it for the kids at preschool on Friday).

And they’re so good.  Oh, so good. The recipe has been passed down through the generations via the Johnson Baking Gene, and if you don’t already have it, well, you can’t get it…

just kidding.  I’ll post it soon.  It’s worth waiting for

Some of my favorite cookies:

Does this look like a knitted cable at all?

Rather mediterranean, like the tiles that line the walls of my favorite Greek restaurant:

In honor of our wedding:

Very modern.  It was supposed to look like a snowdrift.  Yeah, I know

For indeed, there is nothing better than watching Christmas Vacation on TV, with your husband, decorating cookies on a snowy Kirksville night .  Except maybe presents.  Presents are better:

They’re almost taller than our monumentally-huge tree!

And with that, we’re going to load up the sleigh Grand Am and drive to the North Pole suburban St. Louis to await Santa’s arrival!  I hope he can find me, especially after that nice note I wrote.

No, not Snapplesauce.  Though I would be intrigued by that product–would it be like a smoothie, with trivia under the lid?  Perhaps.  I shall now write the appropriate letter…

Applesauce cookies are a big thing in my family…Grandma used to make them when Mom was a kid, and a few years back I “rediscovered” the recipe.  They’ve been really popular ever since then, and since the only fat in them comes from 1/2 cup shortening, they’re really not all that unhealthy.  It’s a Depression recipe, from a time when butter was expensive, so they found other ways to make recipes work.

So before I share this recipe with you guys, you have to promise promise promise on your yarn stash/nearest cat/Dyson vacuum/whatever that you will try these cookies.  And that you will *not* share this recipe with anyone else.  Because once the secret’s out, man, it’s not going back in.

Promise?  OK let’s go.

Warm up your oven to 375* F and roll up your sleeves, then get ready for slightly-delayed gratification!  In no time flat you’ll be in heaven.  Cookie heaven.  Where there are milk waterfalls, elastic waistbands, and no scales.  My kinda heaven.

Assemble:

Applesauce, milk, salt, baking soda, baking powder, shortening, cream cheese, an egg, clove, cinnamon, powdered sugar, flour, and plain sugar.  You know it’s gonna be good!

Make sure your cream cheese is softening (de-chilling?) on the counter; you’ll need it in a little bit.

Dump half a cup of shortening into a large mixing bowl:

And then a cup of sugar (sinkful of dirty dishes optional):

And then, if you’re a bum like me and didn’t quite have enough sugar to make a full cup, toss in some brown sugar to round it out:

It’ll be OK, I promise.

Then break out your trusty pink KitchenAid hand mixer, and combine the shortening and sugar:

When you’re done it’ll look sort of like streusel topping…but it’ll be OK, I promise (my new mantra):

Mmmm.

Crack an egg into your bowl (I advise omitting the shell, though):

And mix again:

Set aside.  You won’t need it for a while.

Then pull out that one badass kitchen tool, the one that fairly screams, I’m an expert!”

Bummmmm, bummmmmmm, bummmmmmmm…..BA-DUMMMMMMM!

I love my sifter.

This part really is necessary, guys, unless you want aplesauce-flavored rocks.  $5 at Target, get yours today.  Once you have it you’ll find multiple uses.  It’s OK, I promise ().

then, put it in a small bowl:

(I’m really glad I included this photo, just for anyone who doesn’t know what a sifter in a small bowl might look like.  How considerate I am).

Meaure out two cups of flour:

And dump them into the sifter’s top:

Then measure out 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon:

And 1/4 teaspoon clove:

Then wallow in the smell.  It’s OK, I won’t tell anybody.

When you’re done wallowing, dump in 1/2 teaspoon of soda:

As well as 1/2 t of salt and 1 t of powder:

Then stir it up a bit within the sifter:

And sift!  This is my favorite part!

Sift it alllll into that small mixing bowl, so then you’ll have a nice dark picture like this:

If you want to play “army men in a volcano” for a little while it’s OK, I won’t tell anybody.

When you’re done playing “army men in a volcano” (please rinse your army men before playing with them in your food!), measure out 1 cup of applesauce:

Now here comes the fun part.  Remember that bowl of sugar and shortening and egg you set aside so long ago?  Haul it back to the forefront!

Now what you’re gonna do, in alternating steps is *gradually* add your flour/spices mixture and your applesauce in with the sugar/shortening.  It’s super-important to start, and end with the flour/spices mixture.  I usually do 1/3 of the flour, 1/2 of the applesauce, 1/3 of the flour, 1/2 of the applesauce, 1/3 of the flour.  See?  Gradually.

So ya start with the flour:

And stir it in with your favorite spatula.  (It’s here that I like to play a game called “too wet!  too dry!” wherein, *for fun*, I freak myself out about the dough’s texture at any point in the mixing process.  Even though I’ve learned, eleventy-billion times, that it comes out OK in the end.  Try it, you might like it).

(”Oh no!  Too dry!”  see how much fun that is?  Hold on, I’ve gotta get the door…two nice men in white coats are here)

1/2 the applesauce:

And stir.

etc etc. until all the flour and applesauce are mixed in.

When you’re done, it’ll have a rather smooshy texture–not runny, but not like regular cookie dough, either.  That’s OK.  These babies spread out during cooking but ultimately result in a *fantastic* cake-like cookie.

Mmm.  Grab a finger- or spoon-ful.  It’ll take you home again.

Time to grease a couple cookie sheets!

These things spread during cooking, so you won’t want to put more than a tablespoon or a tablespoon and a half or so in each dollup.  Pop ‘em in your preheated oven for about 13 or 14 minutes, or until the cookies’ edges are just beginning to turn brown, and the tops are no longer shiny.

Cooked versus uncooked:

Now here’s a weird phenomenon.  The dough for these cookies is to-die-for (and go to cookie heaven for!  Oh what a way to go!).  But the baked product?  Not so much.

UNLESS.

Unless!  you make the frosting I’m about to prescribe.  Cover each cookie in a thickly-applied layer of the stuff, then pack your bags for nirvana.

This is where the milk, cream cheese, and powdered sugar come in.

Break out your 8 oz of softened cream cheese:

Add a splash of milk and a good amount of powdered sugar:

Then break out your mixer again, and go to town.  I usually add about 4 or 5 cups of powdered sugar by the time it’s all said and done.  You don’t want your frosting to be too thick, because then it’ll tear up the cookies.  But you don’t want it to be too thin either, because then it’ll drip right off.  Very tough place to be.

This is too thin:

And this is juuuuuust right:

Now find your favorite frosting-spreading knife (mine doesn’t have any of those tiny serrations that most butter knives do):

And go to town! (once your cookies are thoroughly cool, that is)

Success!

om nom nom nom nom.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I warned you.

By now y’all have figured out that when PMS hits me, it *really* hits, right?  And you guys should count yourselves lucky–you only have to read (or skim) my writing about it.  Poor Jeff has to *live* with me!  And yes, that entails trips to buy Peanut M&Ms

So anyway, I’m PMSing today and all I could think about was oatmeal chocolate chip cookies…not sure what put that thought in my head, but man I needed ‘em!  Plus since they’re oatmeal they’re sorta healthy

No photos or step-by-step tutorial on this one, I whipped ‘em up real quick so I could get straight to dough-eating (which, y’know, is the real reason anybody bakes cookies, right?).

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip cookies

3/4 c shortening
1 c packed brown sugar
1/2 c granulated sugar
1/4 c water
1 egg
1 t vanilla
3c oatmeal
1c flour
1t salt
1t cinnamon
1/2t ground cloves
8 oz chocolate chips (or peanut butter chips!  or raisins!  or nuts!  or whatever!)

Preheat oven to 350*f.  In large bowl, mix shortening, sugars, water, egg, and vanilla until well-blended.  Add all other ingredients and stir to combine.  Drop by tablespoonfuls onto a greased baking sheet.  Bake 10-12 minutes or until bottom is starting to brown and cookies are no longer shiny on top.  Cool slightly on baking sheet then transfer to wire rack.  Consume with great abandon.

Mmmm.

With any luck, tomorrow = photo talk.

Or at least, when I can bribe Jeff to take pictures of me doing it

Finally, my long-awaited bread tutorial!  I know, I know…y’all can’t wait. I can’t blame you.  Because if you can make bread, you can do anything.  It really should be one of those essential life skills, rating somewhere between checking your oil and calculating a tip.

So with no further ado…Basic White Bread:

Ingredients:  flour, sugar, shortening, butter, water, yeast, salt.  Can it get any simpler?

First of all, set your butter out on the counter to soften.  You won’t need much–maybe a tablespoon or two.

To start the dough, run your tap till the water comes out pretty warm.  How warm is pretty warm?  Iunno.  Just…pretty warm.  I don’t use a thermometer or anything.

(You might notice I’m not wearing my wedding band or engagement ring.  That’s because they would get very very dirty in a a few minutes.  Don’t bake and bling, please.  For the sake of your diamonds.)

Once your water’s warm enough, measure out 3/4 cup:

And pour it into a large mixing bowl:

Then cut open two packets yeast (the wristwatch tan line is optional):

And add those in.

Stir together until the yeast is mixed in and your kitchen is full of that wonderful yeasty smell.  (Which, I just learned, Jeff doesn’t like.  How could I have married him without this knowledge?!)

Once your yeast is activating, stir in 1c warm water:

Then another:

Then 2/3 of another (so by this point you’ve got the 3/4 cup you started out with, PLUS 2 2/3 cups):

Next comes 1/4 c sugar:

And a tablespoon of salt:

Then one…

two…

three tablespoons of shortening (it’s really not that much, divided up between two loaves in the end!):

Then measure out a cup of flour (you know this trick about using the flat side of the knife, right?  Makes it sooo easy, and precise!):

And add it:

Then add 4 more cups of flour (5 cups total, for those as mathematically-impaired as me! )

OK now your bread’s done!  Eat up!…  dammit, my jokes are only funny to 3-year-olds.  Ah well, nothing new.  Moving on…

At this point I wanted to refill my flour canister so I’d have it handy for finishing the dough.  That way I wouldn’t get my sticky fingers all over the bag.  That’s just me, though.  You may thrive on that sort of excitement.

Break out your hand mixer, put it on a nice medium setting, and have at it!

After mixing, your dough will have a nice smooth consistency, but it won’t really look like bread dough yet.  You fail at life.  Quit baking now, loser.

Just kidding.  It’s supposed to look like that.  That’s why you add another cup or so of flour:

And stir it in.  I always do that by hand, but if you have a fancy pantsy stand mixer with a dough hook, you might as well use that instead.

See that lovely texture?  It’s on its way!

Today I added another half cup or so:

Thicker still…

At this point, a helper cat is optional but encouraged:

If you’ve got a breadboard, break it out now.  If not, make sure your counter is clean and dry, then flour it:

Just like so…

And turn your dough onto the board/counter for kneading (now we’re getting to the really exciting part!)

Lightly cover your dough-in-progress with flour, too:

And with your open flour canister at the ready (to add more flour to your worktable as needed), start kneading!

Here we go!

It’s at this point that I turn it over to video Katie, the much more awkward and less witty version of myself.  I have no editing skills so this is really quality, just forewarning.

Then after Jeff turned the camera off, I kneaded for a few minutes more, until I had this result:

Gawd I hate the sound of my own voice!

Anyway, here’s the dough resting in its greased bowl:

Cover with a cotton cloth (to keep the dough cat hair-free) and let rise until doubled–about 45 minutes or an hour:

Here’s how mine looked:

Then punch it down.  Since I’m sure you’re all bread pacifists and don’t know how to be violent toward dough, I’ve got one more super-handy video:

Well that was enjoyable.

Next, turn it out onto your breadboard/counter:

And roll it to about 18″ square:

And cut your square in half:

Grease two loaf pans (no don’t worry about using the stuff with flour–just grease or Pam is perfect)

Starting at one end, begin to roll one of your half-squares up, like you’re making a jelly roll:

There ya go:

Then tuck the ends under so they’re facing the bottom seam.  Here’s mine:

Bottom-side (seam side) down, place it in one of the loaf pans:

And do the same with the other half of the dough:

Rub the top of each loaf gently with that butter that earlier you set out to soften:

Yum.

See the buttery shinyness?  I promise this recipe is still low-fat.  Really.

Now it’s time to let your dough rise again.  After another hour on the counter, this is how mine looked:

Finally, it’s ready for the oven!  Your oven should be preheated to 425*F–I usually start warming mine up about half an hour after I started the dough’s second rising.  Also, the oven rack should be on a low setting–so once the loaves are in the oven, their tops will be at the middle.  I’ve drawn this handy diagram:

After about 30 or 35 minutes in the carefully structured oven, you’ll have this:

Time to break out the butter again!

Brush the loaves one more time, ’till they’re shiny enough to see your reflection (ok maybe not quite):

And you’re all done!  Yum!

I loooove this recipe–it’s so easy and basic, and it’s actually very little effort.  I know it seems like it takes forever since you have to account for rising time, but I’ll tell ya’ that while this batch was rising, I cleaned, did dishes, and went to my boss’s house and picked some stuff up…it’s not like you have to hover over your bread-in-progress or anything!  Though you can if you want to…I promise I won’t tell!

I’ve never used a bread machine, and with a recipe this simple I never will.  Homemade bread is so much yummier than store-bought, and healthier too–since it doesn’t have any of those yucky preservatives.

I’ll be trying a whole-wheat version soon–may have to adjust some of the amounts a bit to account for a denser flour.  I actually can’t believe I didn’t do that sooner!

Now, off to have a homemade bread and turkey bacon grilled cheese sandwich….yummy!

Love to hear if anyone tries this for themselves

I needed chocolate, and so this happened.  I had no control over the process, I assure you.

Also, I’ve come up with a joke that would be *so* wholly disgusting and inappropriate that even I will not post it, for it makes me sorta giggle, and really feel like retching, just thinking about it.  So I’ll spare you.  But I just wanted to tell you that I *did* think about it, and that fact alone is enough to get me sent off to the nuthouse, or the disgusting person’s-house, or something.

Anyway, these are called Chocolate Crinkles by my Betty Crocker Bridal Edition, but after baking and trying them I think I’ll call them Chocolate Mediocres.  After I post the recipe, I’ll tell y’all how to make it better–the changes I’ll be making next time I make these things.

Only after baking them did I realize they look sorta like the base cookie for my Zebra Cookies, the key difference being that zebra cookies are delicious, and that I press a Hershey’s Hug into each one straight out of the oven.  Makes all the difference, I assure you.

First up, 2 cups of granulated sugar into your big mixing bowl:

Then half a cup of vegetable oil (no photo…imagine it).

Next up, 2 teaspoons vanilla:

And 4 ounces melted and cooled *unsweetened* baking chocolate:

Mix:

Add 2 eggs:

And mix.

Add 2 *more* eggs:

(just call me Katie “photo recycler” Hoops), and mix again.

Then, 2 cups of flour:

2 teaspoons powder:

And a half teaspoon of salt:

(makes me feel like a badass to guesstimate ingredients in my hand, y’know)

Stir it all together:

Till all the dry ingredients are mixed in:

If you happen to sample the dough, you’ll notice it has a grainy texture.  Not that I ever sample cookie dough, of course.

Chill it in the fridge for about 3 hours, to make it stiff enough to work with.

Once chilled, turn your oven on to 350*F and prep your cookie sheets:

Then put some powdered sugar in a small bowl and grab a spoon.

Take a chunk of dough:

Plop it in the powdered sugar:

And roll it around to coat.  Then move it to your baking sheet (these cookies don’t spread *too* much, so I was able to fit 15 (3×5) on a medium-sized cookies sheet:

After baking about 12-15 minutes (YMMV):

Move them directly from cookie sheets to cooling racks, and then you’re done!

OK so that’s what happens if you follow the recipe exactly.  The finished product is pretty good–don’t get me wrong–just not great.  They have a brownie-like texture (which makes sense, as the dough is fairly brownie-like) and the powdered sugar adds more than an aesthetic appeal–its light sweetness helps balance out the rich chocolateyness (hey, that word is recognized by Firefox spellcheck!  Cool!) of the cookie.

But, three days after baking, these are already pretty stale and old-tasting.  They’re a bit too crunch unless eaten really fresh, and even then don’t really have anything to set them apart.  Here are the changes I’ll be making next time:

~INSTEAD of 1/2 c vegetable oil I’ll be using 1/4c oil *and* 1/3 c applesauce–should help the texture and create a more moist cookie
~5 egg whites INSTEAD of 4 eggs. Not only will it lower the fat and cholesterol, but the egg whites will provide a lighter balance.
~Mint extract instead of the vanilla, or perhaps some coffee flavoring (would be interesting to try!)
~Or, instead of the mint or coffee flavoring, pushing a peanut butter Hershey’s kiss into the top of each cookie would be really interesting.

The recipe has a lot of potential, but I won’t be making it as-is again.  My philosoph with baking is:  if I’m going to take time to make something homemade, it needs to be absolutely delicious.

My week has been filled with 11-, 12-, and 13-hour days.

I have at least three loads of laundry to do tonight.

I must pack for our trip to St Louis this weekend.

My house is a mess.

I haven’t showered today.

But I’m blogging.  Because you know what?  I deserve it.

Also, I’m eating this:

Because I deserve it.

First, on the preschool front–no accidents today!  One dirty Pull-up, but hey, isn’t that what Pull-ups are for?  Yesterday, one of my more difficult 2-year-olds actually pooped IN THE TOILET!  A cause for celebration like no other, I assure you.  Apparently, this was not only his first at school poop-in-the-toilet, but his first *ever* poop-in-the-toilet.  I feel blessed to have been present for such a monumental event.    But really, though, this does excite me like no other…it sure doesn’t take much anymore, does it?

Also had to deal with a highly negative influence in my classroom today.  Can’t go into too much detail because of confidentiality issues, but let’s just say it made my day much more stressful than it should have been otherwise, and that the board and I are taking steps to ensure it can’t happen again.

Found a few minutes the other day in which I persuaded Jeff to take a few photos of my wrap out in the daylight:

This should be enough to scare any small children I might come across:

As usual, I was going for ’sultry’ but ended up with ‘bored’:

Trippy:

So that’s my wrap, in a nutshell.  And I promise this is the last time I’ll blog about it until I wear it at the wedding…

The wedding!  Five weeks away, and I still have oh-so-many ripples to do.

Have I mentioned I hate ripples?  I mean, I love them…but I hate them.

Tomorrow, I promise, a cookie recipe.  Worth waiting for (even if the photography isn’t).

PS>Speaking of photography:  in St Louis this weekend Jeff has promised I can go to Best Buy and fondle try out a D40.  Here’s hopin’ I like the feel of it!

I have the absolute best post (well, in my opinion anyway ) to put up later, but for now I’ve gotta dash off to class.  Check back around 8 or 9 tonight!

It’ll be about three fantastic things…

***
Edit 9:25pm
***

First Fantastic Thing:

Look what I finished last night!
(for reference, this is what color it actually is)

(ignore my slightly psychotic (read:  ‘normal’) look)

Goes well with the pajamas, doesn’t it?

And the obligatory yarn-smelling picture:

I seriously, honestly, wish I could show this to each and every one of you in person so you could touch the softness and behold the purdyness that is the First Fantastic Thing. 

Bet you’re disappointed that my First Fantastic Thing was just a bunch of pics of me wearing that wrap, right?

For those of you who are into knitting, here are the details:
Made with 7 1/2 skeins of Urban Silk–about 730 yards.  I meticulously stitched on about a hundred of these beads:

though of course you can’t see in the photos, but it does add just the right touch of sparkle in ‘real life’.  Jeff was the one who suggested the fringe; I’m glad he did–I think it really finishes the piece nicely!  This is the third thing I’ve ever knit, btw…and looks a lot more difficult looking than it actually was .  I’m just glad I got it done in time for my cousin’s wedding in October!

May take more photos of it tomorrow when I’ve got daylight again (hopefully the sun won’t suddenly expire tonight ).

I took some photos of the BCBG dress I got, but they’re horrible even by my standards, so I’ll try again tomorrow on those, too   Dress needs some alterations–nothing major, just to be taken in at the bust.  ::sigh::…all my dresses need to be taken in at the bust–plight of the nearly-boobless, right?

Second Fantastic Thing

I also made this today:

(Edit:  guess who just learned how to up the exposure to ‘brighten up’ my photos?  Meeee!)

Mmm…

I also seriously, honestly wish I could give each one of you a thick, buttered slice of this delicious homemade bread, and then we’d wash our hands and touch the wrap some more

I don’t use a breadmaker…never have and never will!  But everybody can make bread. I got my super-simple recipe from the 1970s Betty Crocker.  And since I can’t give each one of you a thick, buttered slice of this delicious homemade bread in person, I’ll post a tutorial with the recipe in a couple days, once I can persuade Jeff to video me and take a bunch of pictures over my shoulder

Third Fantastic Thing (for the exclusive benefit of my mom)

Today I had my last ever First Day of School (except my eventual graduate school, of course!)

So I had Jeff take my traditional First Day of School photo by the front door.

Here ya’ go, Mom:

Yay!  In four months I’ll be a college graduate!  Today I filled out my last ever scholarship renewal form…I can’t wait to say goodbye to the financial aid office forever!

17 years I’ve been in school…and now I’m so close to finished, I can almost taste it.  For some reason, it tastes like homemade bread…oops–how’d I start eating another slice?

First up, work on the wrap:

That photo’s not anything to look at, quality-wise, but you can tell that I’m much farther in!  11 repeats, in fact   Just 16 more to go!

Our landlord was outside showing the house next door to a prospective tenant, and she asked why I was outside, barefoot, taking pictures of a scrap of knitting on the sidewalk.  Given the quality of the above photo, I sort of wonder too…aah well.  That’s what I get for not waiting ’till it was cloudy out!

Also, if you haven’t already, you should check out Kayley’s muffin recipe.  Que delicioso!

Here’s my take:

Lowfat Whole Grain Chocolate Chip Banana Muffins

Preheat oven to 400*F.

Gather the following:

Baking powder, salt, chocolate chips, raw sugar (available at Wal-Mart), applesauce, an egg, two bananas, milk, whole wheat flour, and sugar (in the silver canister).

Beat one egg:

I just use a fork–it’s good exercise that way!

Then add 1/3c applesauce and 1/2c milk, and stir together:

Mash up the bananas:

And dump them in too.

Then add 1 1/2c flour, 2/3c sugar, 2t powder, and 1/2t salt:

Stir it all together, just until dry ingredients are moist (don’t over-mix!).  Then add just enough chocolate chips to make it interesting:

After you mix those in, it’s time to divvy them up into a muffin pan.  For this part, you can either use muffin cups or grease the bare pan.  Since I always use muffin cups that’s what I did here, though I will warn you that because these are lacking in oil they’re very stick-y–they won’t look pretty on their way out of the cups.

Then sprinkle liberally with raw sugar:

After about 20 minutes (give or take) of baking, they’ll look like this:

Oh muffiny goodness:

Just remember, it won’t look pretty coming out of the paper.  You can add a couple tablespoons of oil to the recipe if it bothers you that much

Enjoy!!!