Part I: How to Identify a MRC (Mentally Retarded Cat)
Do you think your cat might be mentally retarded*? Is your cat the type of feline who:
1)gets his head stuck in a champagne glass not once, but TWICE? In the span of 5 minutes?
2)Begins “gonna puke” procedure on the couch, gets booted off (unceremoniously), then stops gagging, jumps back up, and pukes?
3)Jumps up in the bed no fewer than *6* consecutive times (that’s 6 times within a 1-minute period) each night, only to get booted off (unceremoniously) each and every time?
4)Licks a plate which until recently held delicious leftover Mexican food, tastes the red sauce, decides he hates the red sauce, then licks the plate again?
5)Will fail to notice the 5 cat treats RIGHT THERE ON THE FUCKING FLOOR, instead pleading desperately for the one which I hold in my hand?
6)Picks on the other cat incessantly then becomes shocked, SHOCKED when the other cat finally takes a retaliatory swipe?
7)Would, I honestly believe, ask for some lovin’ from anyone who happens to walk through the door, including the proverbial axe murderer?
8)After over two years in this household, still completely and utterly fails to understand the meaning of that mysterious word “NO!”?
9)Upon being booted off (unceremoniously) from the couch for any number of reasons, will desperately claw and cling onto said couch, humans’ legs, or any other object in a desperate attempt to avoid being booted? Even though he knows it will happen anyway?
10)Really, truly, honestly thinks that the best way to wake upKittyMommy in the morning is to press his puckered pink anus against her forehead? Every morning? Which always results in yelling, and an unhappy KittyMommy who is, as a result, quite unwilling to refill the food dish?
Part II: The Adventures of the MRC (Mentally Retarded Cat)
*This post is in no way intended to be demeaning or inflammatory to those who have, or love someone who has, a mental disability. Unless your name is Othello, in which case you may consider yourself thoroughly insulted.