Last night we went to see There Will Be Blood at our small town’s movie theater. It was showing in the biggest of the theater’s 8 auditoriums–this one seated maybe, oh, 100? I suck at estimating. But I know that each row has 11 seats, for which I am thankful because I can sit in the 6th seat which, clearly, is the exact center. Meaning I don’t have to deal with, erm, not the exact center. This is important to me, I assure you. Sitting in not the exact center has ruined movie experiences for me in the past; now I don’t even risk it.
So anywho…the film. This would’ve been a good one to rent, so I could knit during. As it was in the theater, though, and I don’t own any of those light-up knitting needles (not that Jeff would let me use them anyway…), I found myself unable to knit for the 2 hour and 45 minute duration of the movie. So instead, I
picked my lip.
doodled on my hand using my pocketknife with a built-in pen and flashlight (<3 my pocketknife). Didn’t carve in my skin. That’s psychotic, yo.
ate all the popcorn.
picked all the red Sour Patch Kids out of the bag, holding each one up to the light for color confirmation before eating it.
played with Jeff’s thumb.
studied the construction of my sweater.
silently tapped the rhythm of the movie’s music on my shoe using the charm on my bracelet.
fiddled with aforementioned bracelet.
assigned backstories to everyone else in the theater, and identified those who I know (at least 5 people) (small town, remember).
mentally packed up the apartment for the move in May.
fleshed out a few curriculum ideas I’ve got for preschool.
drank all the Diet Pepsi (sorry Jeff), let some of the ice melt, and drank that.
noted with dissatisfaction that the spacing of the light fixtures along the theater’s walls do not line up with the spacing of the rows of seats. of.
contemplated, momentarily, whittling two pencils into points and using them as knitting needles with which to knit my own hair. Realize how crazy this is, and that I don’t have two pencils with me, anyway.
And that, my friends, is why unless the movie in question is 1)Harry Potter or 2)Harry Potter, I’m really just better off waiting and renting the damned thing. Or buying light-up knitting needles.