Wacashun

Last Monday, Jeff’s parents took us on a short vacation to the Lake of the Ozarks (the “go to” vacation spot for a lot of Missourians).  His parents have some friends/neighbors who own a condo down there, and they let us (Jeff, his parents, and me) use it for a pittance.

I didn’t really take any “woo hoo here’s the condo” pictures, but it was really nice–3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, full kitchen, screened in porch, etc.  It was in just the right size complex (8 or 9 buildings, maybe?), of 3 condos each.

Here’s my sock (actually, Jeff’s sock) on the first day we were there:

Jeff’s dad spent most of his time manning the grill, and taking care of Molly (she was on the floor, here):

Jeff spent a lot of time staring at the lake and musing upon the futility of existence, or mentally developing a perpetual motion machine, or something:

And I took pictures of cat-shaped plant stands:

The cove and dock (I think the condo was somewhere along the lake’s 23mm):

Molly and Jeff cuddled that night.  And, apparently, Jeff grew extra fingers.  Congratulations to him.

But really, Molly spent most of her vacation alternatingly chilling out:

and investigating the possibility of grill food being dropped:

I don’t know if she ever got any grill food or not.  But I bet she could tell you, if you could learn to speak Daschund.

The next day, we went to this lodge lookout placey thing.  Which had the most incredible lake view ever:

EVER.

They had a rustic checkers-y thing, which I wanted to play.  But no one else would play with me.

Rustic oversized checkers is SO MUCH more fun than regular checkers, you know.  Plus they’re good  if you’re, um, lacking in…um….fine motor control?  Yeah.

Anyway, then the top of Jeff’s head got chopped off:

Yet he kept on smiling.  What a trooper.

Like father, like son:

See?  Because they’re both standing at the railing!  Ha! Ha?  Hmmmm…

Proof that Jeff can act like he likes me (at least when the camera’s on):

From there, we went to the Lodge of Four Seasons (the resort Jeff and I stayed at on our honeymoon) to look around there for a while.  And I saw these flowers:

Aren’t they gorgeous?

Jeff’s mom told me what they were.  Then I forgot.  Because that’s what I do best, y’all.

Random:  there’s a waterfall inside the main building of the lodge.  See?

(it’s where we took this picture, over a year ago)

So now I have one of Jeff’s parents in front of the waterfall, too:

PS:  when I first typed “waterfall” above, I actually typed “waterfally”. Then I spent the next 5 minutes spacing out and thinking about “water folly” and what hijinks that might entail.  Really.  Welcome to my tiny brain.

Ahem.  Anyway.

After that, we went on a short cruise thingy, to look at some of the big fancy houses on the lake.  And I discovered that I have a tendency to feel a bit seasick:

Jeff doesn’t have that tendency, lucky bastard.

However, he does get carsick.  And we ride in cars much more than we ride on boats, so I think I win that one.  HA!  And HA! again!

On the cruise, we saw this super nifty house, which was the very image of a 1970’s grotto.   If they made grottos in the 1970’s.  I dunno…did they?

I should note, here, that all of this merriment was interspersed with much pool swimming.  To the extent that I would wake up in the morning and put on my swimsuit instead of clothes, ’cause I knew I’d be changing soon anyway.  That kind of swimming.  I love that.  LOVE.

Also, by necessity, I love my oil-free, sensitive skin, SPF45 lotion.

The next day–Wednesday, I think?–Jeff and I hit up the Osage Beach outlet mall, and Starbucks.  Which had a hole in it:

(What, you think I was lying?)  It looked like someone drove their car through Starbucks. Which doesn’t really make much sense, because there’s a perfectly good drive-thru on the other side of the building.  But there’s no accounting for taste, or something.  No, wait–there’s no accounting for drunk vacationers!  That’s it!

I also saw a cute car, and captured it forever in my memory and my heart:

Doesn’t it sort of look like the one from Get Smart?  Maybe?  I dunno…I’m not a car person.

Moving on!

Wednesday was, without a doubt, the most traumatic day of the whole vacation.  Because I swam in the lake.  Seriously!  Ugh!  I couldn’t see my toes, or anything.  And I wore a life jacket.  But dudes, I couldn’t see my feet! The water was so murky and…lake-y.  Full of fish poop, I’m sure.  Ewwwwwie.  I can’t believe I did that.

Behind this smile, is fear.  Pure fear:

Also, check out the new sunglasses.  Aren’t they cute?  $9.99 at the Fossil outlet!

Jeff had no fear in his smile:

Only ridicule, of his silly wife.  Hey, it’s OK.  I’d ridicule me, too.

Jeff’s parents were probably ridiculing me, too.

But I’m serious, people.  I couldn’t see my toes!  Or for that matter, my legs at all!  A fish could’ve bitten me!  Or touched me!  Ewwwwwwww.

But I did finally get in the lake, because I had a strong motivation:

Molly can swim! (with her life jacket of course)

Look at her go!

She doesn’t really like swimming, so she tries to get from point A (Linda) to point B (Jeff or Bob) as quickly as possible:

When she swims, her tail wags and splashes water everywhere:

Then when she gets to you, she’s SO HAPPY to be safe, that she licks your nose in appreciation:

It was pretty much the cutest thing ever.

So that’s what motivated me to get in an let Molly swim to me once or twice.  Only then we were all in the lake, and there was no one to take pictures.  So you’ll just have to trust me.  Please trust me.

After the lake, Jeff spent some time making up and solving differential equations in his head:

While his mom and I stared at the lake:

(ugh…thunder thighs FTL)

Then it was time for the pool again!

I love when it gets completely glassy like that.  And I also love jumping in and ruining the glassyness.  I’m sure that says something significant about my psyche.

Jeff worked on his tan for a while, while I added another layer of the SPF45 and worked on my pasty.

But hark!  What is this?  A tan line?!

(more like a freckle line)

No worries, the other 99% of me is still lily white:

Also, for the rest of my life whenever anybody wants to see a picture of me, I’m going to give them this one.  Even when I’m 75.  It’s called ‘lying’, kids.  Or, if you wish, ‘denial.’

After our third swim of the day, Jeff and I headed off to dinner at one of our favorite Lake restaurants:

(we ate there on our honeymoon, too)

I took this photo to mark the momentous occasion in which Jeff seriously contemplated chucking my camera into the lake:

I think you can see the anger in his eyes and the hatred in his soul.

Not that I cared, for I was soon in possession of the best grilled chicken sandwich ever (mmmm sourdough):

(I forgot to take a picture before I ate part of it.  But it was stellar.  STELLARRRRR!!!)

and the best bloody Mary ever:

Grilled chicken sandwiches and bloody Marys tend to make me care not so much about the hatred in my husband’s soul.

Also, I hid the camera so he couldn’t chuck it into the lake.

After dinner we headed back to the condo for another swim, then came back to St. Louis (relatively) bright and early the next morning!  It was a really fun vacation, and I’m really glad that Bob and Linda let us tag along.  Even if I did risk having a fish bite my leg.

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One response to “Wacashun

  1. MySisterIsAMarine

    I think those trees with the flowers are called Mimosa trees. We have a few growing around here in my area up in Indiana. And isn’t that hotel/lodge with the waterfall supposedly haunted? I could’ve sworn I saw that place on some show about haunted inns.

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