Wascally Wabbit

Onwy the wabbit I’m hunting isn’t the kind of wabbit you may be thinking of.

The wabbit I want isn’t this kind:

No, the wabbit I want isn’t even a “wabbit” at aww, per se.

My metaphoricaw “wabbit” is actually a dwessew.

…Erm, this is getting rather hard to read.

What I’m trying to say is, I have spent the better part of 6 months looking for a dresser.

And not just any dresser, of course (would you expect any less from me?).

No, the dresser I’m looking for must be the exact replica of a dresser from my childhood, an antique which my mother *cruelly* usurped mere hours after I vacated my childhood home, and is now using for her own clothes.  What kind of mother would just steal her grown child’s dresser, after said grown child has left the house?

(mine, that’s who.)

Furthermore, what kind of mother would turn down the grown child’s offer of “I’ll buy it for $200 and you can bring it out to St. Louis for me”?

Makes no sense at all.

As the dresser-in-question currently lives in my parents’ house in Kansas City, and as I’m not presently *in* Kansas City to take a photo of it, here’s the closest stand-in that Google Image Search can provide:

[[disclaimer:  closest stand-in = not really all that similar]]

Essentially, my beloved is a “handkercheif dresser” – that means one with 2-4 larger drawers at the bottom, two smaller ones up top, and an attached mirror:

Only, (like the dresser my mom stole from me), it shouldn’t be so…ostentatious.  Simple, clean, graceful lines that are in keeping with the early 20th century farmhouse*/Mission/Arts-and-Crafts vibe.

The term “handkercheif dresser”, you see, comes from those two little drawers – ostensibly designed to hold handkercheifs, though as a child I used mine to store my bookmark collection, my inhaler, and a wide assortment of plastic pony beads.

I was a sad child.

At any rate, I continually find myself completely unable to find a dresser which meets my (admittedly exacting) specifications.  The biggest hurdle is all the…floof…that they all seem to display.  Whorls and flowers and medallions and turned wood lah-de-dahs.  And I’ll have none of that!

But, as I mentioned before, the dresser of my dreams lies just out of my reach, in the cold clutches of my parents’ evil lair.  It is in amazing condition (less the marker scribbles inside the drawers and penny rammed into a keyhole), naturally void of any manner of medallions or whorls, and is completely unattainable.  Just out of my reach.  ::pouts::

Mom?  You drive a hard bargain.  $250.  Final offer.  PLEASE?!

So y’all, help me feel not so alone…What’s just out of reach for you?



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