Over the past week I’ve alluded to the flower photography (Hey y’all – I CAN HEAR YOUR COLLECTIVE GROAN.  Shuddup.) I did at Grandma’s house (I CAN HEAR YOU AGAIN.) but I’ve held it back from you till now.  Because I’m mean and controlling.  And I like to pretend that people care.

But no more!  No longer shall I sit back, clutching my cards close to my chest (umm…except that everything’s been up on Flickr for ages now).  No longer shall I lull myself to sleep thinking happily of how secretive I am, and no longer shall I dream sweet, sweet dreams of my own brilliance.

“It’s like she gets off on being withholding.”

(doooooooood same episode and everything!  I think.)

Anyway.  So what was I saying?

Right.  The tulips.  I was so wrapped up in my own narcissism I almost forgot.

(woulda been cooler if the flowers were forget-me-nots, eh?)

One of the most basic tenents of photography is:  “Any idiot can take a picture of a flower.”  And that’s about right.  Heck, most cameras even have a special macro mode (picture of a tulip on my D40).

That is, unless it’s REALLY FREAKING WINDY.

(that one reminds me of a peach)

If it’s REALLY FREAKING WINDY, then taking pictures of *anything* (save blowing leaves or a veiled bride) can be an exercise in frustration.

It can make you homocidal.

(it can make you wish these spiky petals were of steel and that you could stabSTABstab the stupid flowers).

It can make you take 19 blurry photos in a row before you get one that’s even remotely clear:

It can make you want to shave your head because you’re SOOOOO sick of red hair blowing into the frame.

(or, uh, just put on a headscarf like I did after about 10 minutes and 146 F-bombs)
(F-bomb is in no way related to F-stops, unless you’re having trouble with aperature, and then F-stops might lead to F-bombs)

It made me wish I had a twin…

(…one more person to curse at, y’know).

But it can be *so* worth it in the end, when you unlock the beauty…

…in $10 worth of tulip bulbs from Aldi.

Like I said, any idiot can do it.

(but maybe this idiot humors herself that she does a pretty OK job.  Sometimes.)

…if only it weren’t so freaking windy!!!


One response to “Penultimate

  1. Ooh pretty! Those are all great flowers.

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