Oh, Internet…

I think it’s high time for another round of “Bizarre Search Engine Terms that Send People To My Little Corner of the Internet”, don’t you?

saint cheese sleeves

This is the one that tipped it off.  I cannot possibly fathom why any person would ever – EVER – look for saint cheese sleeves.  Moreover, what on earth could make Google think that my blog would help them with this query?  Enlighten me.  Please.

lost sayid hot

I agree. Consider your teenybopper-esque celeb crush justified. But just think about this – did you ever end up marrying Taylor Hanson after all?  What about Justin Timberlake?  Joey McIntyre?  So let’s just agree to say “Naveen Andrews is fucking hot” and leave it at that, eh? (though he is stratospheres above any effeminate boy band singers.)

opposite of lazy

Yer lookin’ at her.  Sometimes.  With enough caffeine and adequate sleep.  Unless I don’t feel like it.  Or if there’s an Office marathon on TV.

bad hem job

At first I read this as “bad rim job.”  The former, I can help you with.  The latter, notsomuch.  When hemming, remember – PIN!  Pin as if your life depended on it.  Use double…triple…QUADRUPLE the number of pins you think you’d need.  A veritable bonanza of pins.  Then, if you’re using a slippery satin or jersey, double the number again.  If all else fails, whine and throw the garment at your mom.  If she’s anything like mine, she can fix anything (nod to What Would a Nerd Wear).

“chocolate covered triscuits”

HA! So I’m *not* the first person to come up with this brilliant idea.   At least 4 other people think like me.  Methinks this might be worthy of a kitchen experiment this weekend, eh?

how did pioneer woman get book deal

By being irresistibly charming and talking incessantly about calf nuts and turtle breath.  Don’t ask me, I don’t get it either.

snickerdoodle cookies 64114

If you can make it to 64119, I can probably help you out.  But it must be a shady deal, executed under the cloak of darkness down at the docks.  (And if you have to ask “which docks” then you don’t get any cookies).

scabies pada anjing golden

I…I don’t…um…  ::speechless::

my ideal tattoo

Your search engine not psychic.  My blog not have all answers.

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12 responses to “Oh, Internet…

  1. more like how did pioneer woman get movie deal AND BOOK DEAL off of the not even spectacular story of how she and her husband met? ” we met at a bar, he lived and worked on a ranch, we got married and i moved there, “hilarity” ensued.” and yet somehow, she gets a movie deal. the luck.

  2. Ha. Hahahahahaha.

    Yeah, I don’t know what the dealio is…

  3. The fact that the pioneer woman describes her love story with the phrase “It’ll make your heart go pitter-pat” makes me want to vomit.

  4. I want to know why people come to my blog. These types of things are often remarkably hilariousness. <<< uh, that's not a word is it? I didn't write that. I wrote Hilarious but spelled it wrong and used the spell check and that was one of the options that i accidentally clicked on.

  5. ditto on PW! I said that I should have been the one w. the movie deal b.c I bring the Culture Clash along w. the City Girl moves to the Country! But it’s all in who you know and getting your name out there~Personally I think Dooce would have made a more interesting moie.

  6. …and I got sweetapples alissa as a search term. Am I 500? 🙂

  7. Oh search words. They always make me feel slightly concerned about the things I write.

  8. Dang! I was hoping I would be 500 & win chocolate covered triscuits or a KateOhKatie handspun in the chocolate covered triscuit colorway 🙂

  9. How DID she get a book deal? Wait, I know the answer to that. She is a marketing machine with money and connections. The end!

  10. I had better be 500. I have that scar, you know. You know. You better never forget.

    Love,
    Scarred for Life

  11. I can help out with the “snickerdoodle cookies 64114” query. While snickerdoodles are not a cookie I’ve personally made (while living in either the 64119 or 64114 area codes), there is a great little place called The Classic Cookie (http://www.theclassiccookie.com/) near Gregory and Wornall that makes great cookies. They serve breakfast and lunch too. Yummy!

  12. Pingback: What brings ‘em in | KateOhKatie blogs

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