Meanwhile, Our Heroine Rides Her Bike

Few things.

1)Being of a healthy weight and slimmish build (say, hypothetically—5’2″ and 11_something_ lbs) does not make one fit.

2)I am TERRIBLY out of shape.  How terribly?  SO TERRIBLY.

3)I rode my bike for a total of 6 miles today*, on mostly flat surfaces, and feel like I’m going to die.

4)I didn’t know that one COULD be that out of shape, and not die.

5)I can also do about 100 crunches at a go without dying, but cannot carry a crockpot full of soup more than 50 feet without stopping to rest.

6)Clearly, we have a problem here.

ANYWAY.  Moral of the story is, I’m tired.  But happy.  But tired.

This was me, after all of today’s riding adventures:

What you cannot tell, though, is that my knees have liquified inside my bright orange tights, my throat is parched from panting, and – as long as we’re being completely honest here – my ass is KILLING ME.**

Then, just moments later…

Yup, I died.  Passed out right there, toppling over onto our hilly front yard.   Horrible thing is, Jeff just left me there.  Well, he did take my bike off my prostrate body.  Which was nice I guess.

But really though, despite the exhaustion &etc., I’m happy.  See?  Proof:

Except for the stuff I’m not happy about.  Which I’ll save ’till tomorrow or Monday.  ::sigh::

PS>Also St. Louis?  WTF with the weather?  It was like 50 degrees today. Which is nice and all, but wholly inappropriate for the middle of May in this region.  Just in case ya didn’t know.

*All I did was go to the University City farmer’s market and back, and to the Delmar metrolink and then Big Shark and then back (and a few inconsequential blocks of riding downtown, if we’re gonna be really specific about it)

**I love how all the bike blogs have such tasteful or cutesy euphemisms for “the part of your hiney that touches the bike seat “, especially in discussions of seatpost height or saddle reviews.  “Soft tissue”, “seat area”, “delicate area”.  Dudes (ladies?), they’re all just LADYBITS.  (Which is as much a euphemism as anything else I guess, but you won’t hear me saying dirty words like vulva on my blog.***)

***oops.

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6 responses to “Meanwhile, Our Heroine Rides Her Bike

  1. I’m sorry you died. I hope you got better.

  2. Mwah. There’s this great picture of me on a horse from a few years ago and I look all happy and competent and like a real cowgirl…my (ahem) “soft tissues” were screaming, I was 110% sure I was about to fall off like a ninny, the horse obviously HATED ME and I was going to DIE and how in the world did I let those crazy people talk me into this?!?!…but other than all that, it was a whole lot of fun. 8^D

  3. In a skirt?
    Downtown?
    Were you hurt?
    Did you frown?
    Ladybits?
    What the #@*%?

  4. The Jimmy corn cracking guy cracks me up.

    I got that way after spinning class, I started a period and had to wear some unmentionable protection, and did that from then on, even if I didn’t have another, it helped so much.

  5. Oh cute bike! And orange tights are the best. Don’t worry the butt pain goes away, or at least goes numb. And they dying is only temporary.

    (And thanks for commenting on my blog. I love meeting new blog friends!)

  6. I will never look as stylish as you riding my bike around town. NEVER.

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