Not surprisingly, it’s a twelve-step program.
1. Cry. And talk about it. Everybody likes the “helpless crying girl” persona.
2. Blog about the event, just in case anyone had forgotten how wealthy you are! And charming! And how clumsy! And other endearing traits!
3.Remember that self-deprecating humor is always fresh and funny. Always.
4. Squeeze in several references to how old and fat you are.
5. Await the droves of minions’ flattering, consoling comments.
6. Figure out a way to blame the whole ordeal on one of your kids. Not your oldest; she’s too old and thus no longer interesting. Not your baby; he’s your favorite. The other two are fair game.
7. Mention crying. Again.
8. Stop crying when you remember that in less than three hours, you’ll have earned enough for a new iPad.
9. Contemplate throwing up a few photos of your basset hound to speed up Step 8.
10. Mention being old and fat again. Just in case someone missed it the first time.
11. Wonder briefly if the “old and fat” schtick might be getting old.
12. Realize that it *never* gets old. Mention it once more for good measure.
Sign off with “Goodbye forever”,