Tonight: I sneezed a MASSIVE SNEEZE. All over. My face and my shirt and boobs and oh god I’m a disgusting human.
Me: ::massive sneeze::
Me: (singing, under my breath) These boobs were made for snottin’, and that’s just what they’ll do…
Me: (singing louder) THESE BOOBS WERE MADE FOR SNOTTIN’, AND THAT’S JUST WHAT THEY’LL DO. I told you I was a disgusting human.
Jeff: ::laughing:: Ewwwwww!
Me: I told you you didn’t want to hear!
Jeff: No you didn’t.
Me: Well, I could have.