Moments ago, in my house.

Tonight:  I sneezed a MASSIVE SNEEZE.  All over.  My face and my shirt and boobs and oh god I’m a disgusting human.

Me:  ::massive sneeze::

Jeff:  ::silence::

(moments later)

Me:  (singing, under my breath)  These boobs were made for snottin’, and that’s just what they’ll do…

Jeff: What?

Me: (singing louder) THESE BOOBS WERE MADE FOR SNOTTIN’, AND THAT’S JUST WHAT THEY’LL DO.  I told you I was a disgusting human.

Jeff: ::laughing:: Ewwwwww!

Me: I told you you didn’t want to hear!

Jeff: No you didn’t.

Me: Well, I could have.

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