The Awkward

I just got back from one of those perfectly fine, thankfully brief, “meet ‘n greet ‘n stand around ‘n eat cake” work events.

 

I stayed for the bare minimum amount of time required.  I talked to three people (who I talk to almost every day anyway).  I ate a piece of very nice white cake with coconut icing. After 15 minutes, I slipped out the door, walked a few steps away from the gathering and audibly sighed then did the “covered in ants oh it’s so icky get them off me” dance.

 

I HATE those things.  I HATE big groups of people (especially nice, friendly, welcoming people who I don’t recognize.  Especially people who I email/speak on the phone with, and know who I am but I don’t know who they are).  I HATE the awkwardness.

 

I SUCK AT SOCIAL INTERACTION.

 

At one point I turned to one of the three people I knew, and said, “the more quickly everyone figures out that I’m just awkward at these things and stop expecting me to be social and friendly, the better off we’ll all be in the long run.”

 

I’m fine being the wallflower.  I like it.  If I could have wedged myself behind the coat rack, I would have.  If I could have brought knitting to occupy myself, I would have.  If I could have just NOT ATTENDED THE DARN THING, I would have.

 

But I couldn’t.  So I sat there and ate cake and talked to the three people I knew and counted down the minutes until I could make my escape.

 

Call it “personal growth”.  Call it “being an adult”.  Call it “free cake”.  Call it whatever you want.  But I hate it.

 

Hey, at least there was cake.

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8 responses to “The Awkward

  1. I’ve never really been able to make friends at work. I think part of my brain thinks that work friends are stupid because they aren’t really your friend.

  2. I was at one of those kind of things today (although not work related) so I totally feel your pain. What I found particulalry embarassing was that everyone there seemed to know me, but I didn’t have a clue who *they* were. I sometimes wish everything could be conducted online – I’m so much more comfortable there!

  3. I’ve been to plenty of work events like that, and I always feel terribly awkward and annoyed too.

  4. I know how you feel. I’ve never been good with interacting with more than a handful of people at a given time.

    At least there was cake for you to eat so you didn’t have to have a lengthy uncomfortable conversation.

    You were probably more friendly than you give yourself credit. I think you’re nice!

    I’d suggest making a club so we could be socially awkward together, but that would be a bit ironic.

  5. Got’cha. I never wanted to be the superstar on the stage, but I did want oh, so much to be the backup singer in go-go boots and a swingy dress. sort of Solid Gold backup singer type……..lol, you’ll have to either Google or Ask Mom about that.

  6. I’m the exact same way… I hate social events… I just feel like I look dumb and people think I’m dumb and it’s just horrible. I even dread going to them when there are people I know… I’m weird and I accept it :)!

  7. Oh my God, I’m so glad it’s not just me!! I’d far rather be home, or with just a small group of ‘proper’ friends than at anything to do with a work social event!

  8. I’m the same. I find small talk just so dull and never know how to start a conversation with new people. Whenever there is a social event at work, I’m scrambling for an excuse not to go. I now give this to new friends, which explains (at least my) introversion quite well:
    http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/2696/

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