The world rejoices, for yesterday I received a new Samsung Captivate.
But I didn’t come here to brag about my new phone. I came here to share in my joy. Because not only am I getting a nifty new toy, I’m (quite logically) also getting rid of my old phone – a Motorola Q9c, which is arguably the worst phone ever made.
Behold the craptacularness*:
For just over two years, this phone has been the bane of my existence. With a ringer that doesn’t ring, a vibrate feature that goes randomly, a battery with a 6-hour lifespan, a worthless mini-SD slot, proprietary headphone jack, a horrible iteration of Windows Mobile, 5 non-functioning keys, a proclivity for randomly freezing and restarting, completely worthless Internet (not even 3G), and the ability to drop a call while standing 50ft from a tower, I have no qualms about saying – if I had sweaty balls, this phone could suck them.
However, I am lacking in balls just as much as my phone is lacking in a mouth with which to suck. So, I must come up with another way to punish this beast for its mere existence. Its lack of a SIM card has rendered it well and truly worthless now that my new phone is activated, and it’s unreliable enough that I couldn’t even keep it on hand for its 911 usefulness. Plus, I want revenge.
So here’s where you come in – once I take out its battery for proper disposal, how should I exact my revenge?
So far I’ve thought to:
– Drop it from the Eads bridge. Or maybe Chain of Rocks, and then have a nice bike ride after.
– Run it over with my car. Or Jeff’s (it’s heavier).
But I know there have gotta be better ideas out there! I want this inanimate object to suffer. At least, as best as inanimate objects can suffer.
My challenge to you is this:
Suggest to me a super-awesome way (the more violent the better) to help my phone meet its demise. This weekend (oh yeah – it’s gotta be something I can do here in St. Louis, for little to no cost) I will take my favorite idea(s), and go put this thing out of its misery, once and for all. And I will make a video on my new phone**, and share it with you.
Be creative (more creative than me)! And THANK YOU.
*I love that Firefox spellecheck is OK with that.
**gotta rub the salt into the old phone’s wounds, y’know?