Just a moment ago

We joke that Simon’s name for me is “Boobs” (his name for Jeff is, of course, “Daddy”).  “Boobs and Daddy”: the two big people he lives with.


Me: I’m going to go eat breakfast and shower. Let me know if he squawks and I don’t hear it.

Jeff: I shall amplify his squawking for you, to convey his true intent.

Me (as Simon):  “BOOOOOOOOOOOBS!!!  Goddamnit Boobs, get in here!”

Jeff (as Simon): “Where’s mah milk, mothafucka?!”

Me (as Simon): “I’m fuckin’ starving! Jeez!”

Jeff (as Simon): “Boobs! In here! Now!”


I’m pretty sure this is in all the parenting books…

PS>Yes, Mom, we’ll stop cursing around him long before he understands what curse words are.



5 responses to “Just a moment ago

  1. Thank goodness! He does not need that kind of vocabulary enrichment. First, he needs a vocabulary.

  2. It takes so much effort to laugh that much so early in the morn…..you guys kill me.

  3. OMG…. Stopping the cursing is easier said than done. I was doing SO well until recently, and of course, he’s at the age… ugh. He’s seven…. BUT the good thing is that all he’s done so far is “remind” me that I’ve said a curse word.

  4. On that PS- truth is, you probably won’t. But with any luck, Simon will be like my nephew who remains unphased even at 7. He’s dropped a single F bomb, in a context of asking if it’s a bad word, accepted the answer and resumed regular life for a 7 year old.

  5. I once, upon one of my fathers patented “short cuts), across a bog, asked my mum if I could say “shit”. She said yes. It is still the single least satisfying swearing session I’ve ever had!

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