We joke that Simon’s name for me is “Boobs” (his name for Jeff is, of course, “Daddy”). “Boobs and Daddy”: the two big people he lives with.
Me: I’m going to go eat breakfast and shower. Let me know if he squawks and I don’t hear it.
Jeff: I shall amplify his squawking for you, to convey his true intent.
Me (as Simon): “BOOOOOOOOOOOBS!!! Goddamnit Boobs, get in here!”
Jeff (as Simon): “Where’s mah milk, mothafucka?!”
Me (as Simon): “I’m fuckin’ starving! Jeez!”
Jeff (as Simon): “Boobs! In here! Now!”
I’m pretty sure this is in all the parenting books…
PS>Yes, Mom, we’ll stop cursing around him long before he understands what curse words are.