Tag Archives: funny

This post is just ten questions long

Stolen from CursingMama.  ‘Cause I can.  And if she gets mad then I’ll just send her some snickerdoodles and she’ll have to like me again.



{one} how often do you do laundry?Usually twice a month, in giant day-long marathons.  Two adults don’t create that much laundry.

{two} what is your favorite type of cookie?Hmm…either chocolate chip or  buttery coconut.

{three} what would you do with an extra $2000 per month?Yarn.  And books.  And shoes.  And then save the rest 😀

{four} what was/is your favorite subject in school?Lit.  Fo shizzle.

{five} have you ever ridden in a hot air balloon?No 😦

{six} what was your high school mascot?Griffins.  Yes, oddly-anglicized spelling and everything.

{seven} if you had the chance to go into space, would you?Maybe.  Depends.  Would like to be the first person to knit in space, though.  (bet the lack of gravity would wreak havoc on my gauge, though)

{eight} how often do you go dancing?It’s a dance party every night in the living room, yo!  (Roxie is a willing partner)

{nine} would you rather drive or fly?Probably fly.  Driving stresses me out way too much.

{ten} have you ever been caught re-gifting?Nope! I don’t generally re-gift to people who could figure it out, anyway (I never re-gift to clever people, or loved ones.  All of which are clever)

He’s got me figured out, part 2,213

(Jeff and I drove to campus together this morning)

Me: (pointing at three motorcycles sharing a spot in the parking garage) “I wonder if they know each other?  And talk to each other all the time?”

Jeff:  “The motorcycles, or the people who own the motorcycles?  I know how you think.”

Me:  (quietly) “The motorcycles.”

<3.

All the treasure in Middle Earth couldn’t make us cool

Our neighbor has installed in his car one of those crazy giant bass systems.  So now we always know when he’s coming home.

 

DUN-DUN-DUN…………DUN-DUN-DUN…………DUN-DUN-DUN

 

Tonight after listening to it for a solid 5 minutes, I remarked to Jeff:  “Sounds like the orcs are coming over the hill.”

 

Jeff added, “Drums, drums in the deep.

 

DUN-DUN-DUN…………DUN-DUN-DUN…………DUN-DUN-DUN

 

Gawd we’re dorks.

I think I’ve really stumbled upon something great here

THIS JUST HAPPENED.  Via text.  Just now.

 

Me:  “What should I get [tattooed] behind my ear?”

Stef:  “Is there some mantra you have that you could get a tattoo about?  Something about strenth or wisdom or women or something?

Me:  “I think a cast iron frying pan just about sums up all those ideas.  Strength:  I can hit you over the head with this if need be.  Wisdom:  She who uses metal utensils on the frying pan must re-season often.  Women:  Frying pans belong in the kitchen and so do I.”

Stef: “Don’t stop, you’re on a roll.”

Me:  “Maybe a cast iron pan and a whisk.  To show that I’m strong, wise, and slightly scrambled.”

Me:  “You know I’m blogging this right now, right?”

 

And there it is.

Ten Character Traits of an Awesome Knitter

1)The ability to justify anything.  “I need this yarn because I have absolutely no kettle-dyed dark magenta sock yarn.  Well, I mean, I have absolutely no kettle-dyed dark magenta sock yarn that I haven’t already mentally bookmarked for other projects.  Close enough.  Here’s my AmEx.”

 

2)Versatility.  The kind which allows you to simultaneously work on two pairs of socks, three hats, one sweater, one scarf, two shawls (one triangular, one round), and – just to keep it interesting – a further dozen WIP’s in hibernation.

 

3)A complete inability to count.  If your sock is 9 pattern repeats long and you have already completed 7, how many do you have left to knit?  Three?  Let’s just do two, then count.  What’s that?  Now there are 9?  You finished “early”!  What a pleasant surprise!

 

4)Tenacity.  So that you don’t mind re-knitting that sleeve three times, with three different needle configurations, to get rid of that stupid laddering.

 

5)Limitless optimism.  “What’s that you say? I have just created a sock leg for Bigfoot? Oh well – I shall frog it, and now I get to re-knit those 100 yards of gorgeous handpainted yarn!  And get more practice with a picot cast-on!  Lucky me!”

 

6)Calm under pressure.  As in, 11:30pm-on-December-24-with-one-sock-and-a-scarf-left-to-knit pressure.  As in, brew another kettle of tea and who wants to put on another movie?

 

7)Foresight.  “Well, it may not fit little Jimmy yet (note: Jimmy is 2 months old), but he’ll have a 72″ armspan someday!”

 

8)Lack of foresight.  So when you’re making gloves and run out of yarn with one  finger left to knit, you have an excuse to make another trip to the LYS for another skein.  And some sock yarn.  And maybe that laceweight over there.  Ooh and some pretty silver stitch markers!  (Somehow this doesn’t contradict 7) above.  Go figger.)

 

9)Creativity.  “I swear, I made the toe of the left sock is a different color on purpose!  We’re trying to teach little Jimmy how to tell his left from right.”  (Note:  Jimmy is still 2 months old)

 

10)Forgetfulness.  “Who was that hat going to be for?  It has been sitting at the bottom of my project basket for two years…I guess I’ll just do those last few rounds and keep it for myself, huh?”

Hehehehe

I went to the dentist and got a filling this morning.

So you know what else I got?  NOVOCAINE!

This is me, right now, trying to smile:

Then, I just put on lip gloss.  This is me trying to rub the lip gloss in:

AWESOME!!!  Although I do hope this stuff wears off soon…  I would be sad if I had to spend the rest of my life looking like a sad old pirate.

Disjointed

We had 14 trick-or-treaters last night.  Only two were dressed up.  Such a downer.

(How many did you have?)

The “Rocky Horror” episode of Glee was amazing (I’d DVR’d it because I had some catching up to do).  Tonight I’m going to watch the real Rocky Horror.  And sing along with every word.  Oh yes I will.

Yesterday we officially made the switch from summer bed (plain sheets + cotton bedspread) to winter bed (flannels + comforter).  It was LOVELY.  Just a shame I spent the whole night with a cat clawing at my head.

Nevermind that we probably won’t turn on the heater for another couple weeks, at least.

I haven’t done the phone thing yet.

I will.  I promise.

(Can anybody recommend a good hippie-ish moisturizer for sensitive skin?) The stuff I got from Trader Joe’s is making me break out.

Boots make my heart sing.  Like this:  “LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

That’s a more effective joke in person, when you can tell just how terribly off-key it is.

(To make up for today’s utter, unbearable dullness, here’s a funny video.)

Horribly Inappropriate

Happy Saturday!

You probably hate me now.  That’s OK.  I understand.  I ruined your childhood for you.

Friday Favorites – 9/17/10

I have just the linen yarn for this supercute kerchief

OMG SO TRUE.  I was *always* the first one awake at sleepovers.  And I’d lay quietly as long as I could ’till I heard my friend’s parents woke up and then I’d usually wander into the kitchen and sit there feeling awkward and drinking an unusual brand of orange juice and watching the clock ’till my mom would come pick me up.  UGH.

Amazing library desk.  But how could they stand to lose so many books?!

More library porn – only with a 19th-century twist.

I’m making pumpkin cream cheese tomorrow, y’all.  Just so ya know.

Love it.

Could this be the best Cake Wrecks ever?  Perhaps…

I want to make them all!

Note to self:  make challah.

Fine art, Star Wars style.  Just what it sounds like.

Delicious easy appetizer idea?  yes please! 🙂

Great post on cycle commuting.  I know that “there already?  Aww…” feeling.

I think Bed Intruder is my favorite meme of the year.

Yep.

Friday Favorites – 9/3/10

So cute.

Love this cozy bedroom.

Another great wall collage thingy.  I’ve gotta learn the secret to non-crappy wall collage thingies.

Adorable housewarming baskets.  Brilliant idea!

Note to self – make a list like this!

::snork::

How good would this be with a nice smear of baba ganoush?

Pretty sure I’m related to one (or both) of these crazy kids.

Yes, yes I do.

Great.  Now I want bees.

Gorgeousness.

Jeff denies it, but I’m pretty sure he made this GraphJam.

So. Stinkin’. Cool.

Ingenious – and infinitely useful!

Yeah, pretty much.

Mmmmm….crabcakes.

Guess which one is my favorite?  (hint: they all are)

Want to make!

Five lessons every kid should learn (and most adults could use a refresher course too).

Why didn’t I think of this?

No, MY new room.  In my dreams.