Not for Carnivores

The weekly garden updates will stop soon, I promise.  But now is not soon.  Now is now.

And now is another garden update.

On Saturday I made a trellis…

…out of $12 of bamboo from my LGS (Get it? Like LYS?) and some jute twine.

Then I planted these:

(which will hopefully grow up and become these).  They were given to me by another co-worker, who apparently gets tons of the seed pods every year.  Everybody in our office got some 🙂

Proof I’m no longer afraid to get my hands dirty:

As long as there are no worms, that is.  And if any worms managed to crawl up the drainspout and onto our balcony and into one of my pots, well then they’ve worked so hard I guess they can stay.

I also did some rearranging of my existing plants, and added a few more.

Remember my poor growth-stunted lettuces?

I moved them into bigger pots, with a richer mix potting soil.  Hopefully this will help them grow (though I’m not optimistic).

I also took my big shallow container that held four of my pepper plants, and rearranged a bit:

Now it’s got three, and the fourth is living on his own:

He’s my biggest, healthiest one…for now.  He lost a leaf in the transition – can plants get stressed?

I also got a cage for my tomato:

I know it doesn’t really need it yet, but with any luck it will someday! 🙂  He’s getting so big!

Oh and also? My pride and joy:

They’re getting so big! I can’t wait ’till I can eat them!  With poppyseed dressing, and feta cheese, and pecans.  Mmmm….

I also planted a few herbs:

That’s (iirc) rosemary on the left, and oregano on the right.  Well, for now they’re just tins of dirt.  You’ll have to take my word for it.  I also need to plant some parsley!  I’d love to get enough herbs that I can dry them for the fall 🙂

All together now!

So pretty and happy and tidy and nice!

Now if only we could stop raining and get some sun.  ::sigh::

So…how’s your garden doing?  Or if you don’t have a garden…how’s your houseplant doing?  Or if you don’t have houseplants…how’s that moldy heel of bread in the back of the cabinet doing?

PS>

KITSCHY GUARD GNOME!!!!  He’s doing a piss-poor job keeping watch on my basil, I tell you waht.

Who knew you could buy pure happiness for $1.77 at Lowe’s?

Three weeks in

Sorry for the unintended absence, everyone!  I miss not talking to my bloggy friends.  And poor Jeff – without you guys to bear part of my annoying nature, it all fell to him!  He’s barely surviving, I tell ya what.  I owe him some cookies or something.

I thought it was about time for a garden update, eh?  Because I know y’all can barely stand not knowing, and now you’re just on the edges of your seats.  Right?  RIGHT?

(And of course I meant to put this post up last week, and I took the pictures then and everything, but…)

First up, the most exciting news is that Mr. Tomato Plant has little flowers!

He’s got even more, now.  Like 7 or 8 altogether.  And I think that means that these will eventually turn into ZOMG TOMATOES, right?  I’m so excited!  A proud planty grandmama.

I gave away two of my nine(!) pepper plants to a pepper-less co-worker; so now I’m down to “only” seven.  These four are doing really well:

I don’t know if that’s “enough” growth for 3 weeks, or not, but I’m proud of ’em nonetheless 🙂

The other three are doing okay-ish.  I think they need more sun, really.

Especially that sad little guy on the left.  He’s 2 or 3″ shorter than the others!  Poor lil’ shrimp.

Some of my lettuces are doing great:

Look at ’em!  So pretty.  I can’t wait to eeeaaaattttt!!!  🙂

Others, notsomuch:

I don’t know if it’s a sun issue, or a space issue, or what, but they’re not doign so hot.  They’re growing a bit, but nowhere near as quickly as their brothers.

(the third container looks much the same – not horrible, but not exactly hearty.  And they’re in a long skinny container, which makes me think that the problem is more light- than space-related)

My snapdragons are snappin’ along (Oh man I crack myself up), and the pansies are doing great!

I love ’em 🙂 So sweet and delicate and pretty!

There have also been a few more additions to my little balcony garden.

Meet the GuardFrog, plucked from Target’s $1 shelves:

Roxie tried to eat him.  So his eye is already chipped.  Poor GuardFrog isn’t that vicious; he couldn’t defend himself…

I also received a delightful surprise from a co-worker, in celebration of Admin’s Day last week –

Isn’t it pretty? And yellow? And perfect?  LOVE!

Of course, we’ve had near-torrential rain for the past three days so I haven’t really been able to give it a proper test, but I’m hoping for a drought so I can give it a proper test 🙂

The watering can was accompanied by an awesome sweet basil plant – my co-worker said, “How can you grow tomatoes without basil?”  Good question – great solution! 🙂

I’m not gonna lie, my new favorite hobby is sticking my nose down among its leaves and IIIIIINNNNNNHAAAALLLIIIING big 🙂

I’m gonna make the best tomato caprese salad, just you wait!  Mmmmmm…

So that’s my garden!  I’m definitely having mixed success at this point – some things are thriving; others, not really.  But I guess that’s the best I could hope for, as an amateur gardener with a black thumb and short attention span, right?

A slow and painful death

Sooo, my bike project wasn’t the only thing I did this weekend.

I also undertook to slowly torture and ultimately murder a bunch of innocent, hapless plants.  It was my goal to do so as ineptly as possible, a task which was further aided by the constraints of my gardenable area (read: balcony*).

I bought and borrowed a bunch of stuff:

And even when shopping, I learned a lot.  For example:

• Did you know that there’s a difference between topsoil and potting soil?  ME NEITHER.
• Did you know that they print planting instructions onto the tiny plastic tags in each plant pack?  I DO, NOW!
• Did you know that no matter how many pots you’ve already got, you will need more?  LESSON LEARNED.
• Did you know that you can’t just buy one or two bell peppers, you have to buy the whole pack of 9? DIDN’T I LOOK SILLY THERE AT THE CHECKOUT.

I knew that people put gravel in the bottoms of pots, something about helping the water drain.  So I did that:

Except for when I forgot, and except for when I ran out.  But I tried!

Me: “Look, Jeff! I’m planting them!”

Jeff: “More like digging their graves.”

Roxie: “Wozzie halp!”

(Wozzie big halp).

I have a tomato (plant)!  I bought it already growing; I thought maybe that would maximize its chances for survival.

This is what it looked like when I was all finished, the first time:

That was before I discovered the bit on the plants’ tags about “plant 18 inches apart”.  So it was another trip to the garden center for more pots, and redistribution (probably stressed the poor things out).

So here we have it – my little balcony garden:

From left to right, that’s: 3 containers of bell peppers, 1 tomato, 3 containers of romaine lettuce, and snapdragons on both ends (the guy at the garden center promised me that snapdragons are hard to kill.  We shall see.).  And two things hanging off the balcony (one is out of frame) with pansies.

(“Wozzie firsty!“)

Cute little sign from mom:

(I’m secretly excited for when these die – though hopefully it won’t be until fall or whatever – so I can say “WOW.  Those fairies should be fired!”)

Also, I wanted to see if these taste like lettuce yet:

…so I ate one.  Just a bit.  Of one leaf.  And for the record, yes – they taste like lettuce.

I make fun, but really…I hope they don’t die.  Or at least, not all of them.  At once.**

Me: “Jeff, what do I do if some of them die?  Do I pull them up?”

Jeff: “Just give ’em little sunglasses, a la Weekend at Bernies.”

Clearly, he’s a gardening expert too.

And Roxie is a pretty baby.

I really, really, REALLY hope they don’t all die.  Maybe I’ll even try watering them.

PS>I thought about naming them, but that’ll just make it sadder.

PPS>I was in Home Depot at one point staring blankly at the plants, and a salesman asked if he could help me.  I said “umm..err…I want to try pot gardening?  I mean. Wait.  Gardening in pots.  Not gardening pot.  I want to do, like, tomatoes and stuff.” and he just sort of looked at me and walked away.  NICE.

*We have a front yard, and a few flowerbeds in the back, but our landlord is fond of destroying perennials and wildflowers so I figured he would be just as ruthless with a few carefully-planted tomatoes.  Such is life.